Oко за Oко - Eye for an Eye
by Slovenskych
Summary: After a horrific experience on the Eastern Front, Belarus is determined to get her revenge. Russia and the Baltics find themselves caught up in her scheme to destroy Prussia and win back her brother's affection. Sequel to Diamond in the Rough.
1. Chapter 1

**While I was writing Diamond in the Rough, many people asked why Russia's sisters and some of the other Soviet Republics weren't in the story. There is a long and complicated answer to that, and I have finally come up with a way to explain it. Also the story ended with one loose end: Russia's severed relationship with Toris. I decided to tie that up here. (This story will be MUCH shorter than DITR.)**

**For those of you who have not read Diamond in the Rough, I recommend that you do so in order for this story to make more sense. O****ко за Oко**** has a story arc of its own, and I will try to explain the bare minimum of what is going on without giving away too many spoilers, but there WILL be spoilers. **

**Warning: This story contains sex scandals. There are no lemon scenes, but there is a lot of manipulation.**

**Introduction: The year is 1952 in the Soviet Union. Since the end of WWII, Russia had locked Prussia in the dungeon for seven years. Most nations believed him to be dead, but through a sudden turn of events, the Baltics freed him from the dungeon and helped him to escape. He and a young Prussian named Diedrich have traveled from Moscow all the way to Berlin, and are now about to cross the border into West Germany. **

**Note: The Berlin Wall did NOT exist at this time. East and West Germans lived and worked together in Berlin, but it was deep within the borders of Soviet territory. It still took a train ride to get to the West from there. **

**To all my DITR readers... welcome back! I hope you like this sequel. :)**

Berlin was the living memory of a war that everyone wanted to forget. Tucked in the alleyways were stacks of rubble, once beautiful architecture reduced to chunks of cement, wooden beams, and dust. Even the buildings still standing were peppered with bullet holes, several windows blown out and cracks spidering up the walls. On the occasional street corner, workers cleared away the rubble with trucks and shovels, most of them women. Lines of people waiting to receive their rations wound outside buildings and onto the streets, rubbing their hands together in the frigid air. Military guards stood at almost every corner, each sporting a rifle and a polished uniform. Some were French, British, American – the rest Soviet. Not a single tree grew in the city because they had all been used for firewood.

Berlin was merely a fractured shadow of the magnificent city it had once been. But to Gilbert Beilschmidt, it was the most beautiful thing he had seen in years.

He soaked in every bit of it as he walked down the streets – people bustling to work, children laughing and chasing each other through the park. Groups of men stood and talked while they lit up a cigarette, and a young boy played the violin for tips. The tantalizing scent of beer floated from the doors of the local Biergartens, causing Gilbert's mouth to water. He had dragged Diedrich into almost every single one, until at last the young Prussian had to explain to Gilbert that they didn't have enough money, and that hanging around Biergartens was an easy way to get caught.

But what struck Gilbert the most about East Germany was the strange energy he felt, the swell of pride and identity he found when he looked at the people around him. For the first time in seven years, the people that represented him had names and faces. They had voices and laughter and hats and cigarettes. They were _real_, and the emotion that hit him when he met his first East German was so powerful that Gilbert had broken down and wept.

Now, he was standing in the center of Berlin Ostbahnhof. Gilbert stared at the train coaches, hardly able to believe how simple it was. All he had to do was step onto a coach, and the train would whisk him away to the West. No more Russian, no more dungeons or whips, no more having to watch his back every second to make sure they weren't being followed. He would be _free._

_And I'll get to see Luddy again, _Gilbert thought, his lips spreading into a grin. _I can't wait to see the look on his face!_

A pair of fingers snapped in front of his eyes. "Gilbert! Are you even listening to me?"

He blinked to see the impatient glare of a young man with bright golden eyes. "What?"

Diedrich groaned. "Gilbert, you have to pay attention, this is important! Just because we've gotten this far, doesn't mean we're safe."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. "Ja, ja, so what were you saying?"

"I said our train leaves from the second platform. I'm on coach D, you're on coach M. Here's your ticket." Diedrich handed Gilbert his boarding ticket, and he flicked his eyes over the seating number. "We'll meet at your coach when we get to the station in Frankfurt. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

Diedrich gave a sharp nod and exhaled a breath. "Right. Well, this is it."

Gilbert flashed a smile. "Thanks for everything, Diedrich."

"Just doing my job."

Gilbert laughed, then slipped an envelope out of his breast pocket. "Here, I want you to have this."

Diedrich leaned forward and tilted his head, eyes widening at the words inscribed on the envelope: _Zu Meinen Kleinen Bruder. _

"Just in case something happens to me," Gilbert said in a low voice. "Don't come back, verstanden? Don't try to find me, or save me. Just _get this to Ludwig _– we have a place in Frankfurt, try contacting government officials. It'll be hard to get to him without an appointment, but you'll manage."

Diedrich took the letter and tucked it safely in his briefcase, his eyes somber. "I hope I won't have to."

"Me neither."

The two friends looked at each other for a moment, then Diedrich held out a hand. "Well, good luck to you, Prussia." Gilbert took it, then pulled in his friend to give him a firm embrace.

"You too, kid. Keep out of trouble."

Crimson eyes met gold. A curt nod, a smile, and they turned and went their separate ways.

A mixture of anticipation and nervousness fluttered in Gilbert's chest as he made his way to his coach. This was it – the moment he had been waiting for, he was _finally_ going to see Ludwig! His legs were trembling with excitement, and he practically leapt onto the coach, eyes scanning the numbers for his compartment. When he reached it, he slid open the door and took a glance inside. Three of the four seats were taken – there was a woman staring out the window so that Gilbert couldn't see her face, and two middle-aged men buried in the East German newspapers. One of them glanced up and he shared a polite nod. "Guten tag," Gilbert said, but the man only huffed and flicked his eyes back to his paper. _Asshole._ Gilbert grumbled to himself, reaching up to slide his suitcase onto the shelf above the vacant seat. He closed the door behind him and stepped over the second man to take his place by the window. Gilbert sank into his seat and watched the faces of his people as they passed, clenching his hands in his lap an thinking about what he might say to Ludwig when they met.

_Hey, Bruder, just thought I'd stop by to share a beer. You got a minute?_

"Guten tag, Preußen."

For a strange moment Gilbert thought it was Ludwig speaking, until he registered that the voice had been female. His eyes snapped to the woman sitting across from him. Her face was still hidden by the hood of her cloak, head bowed into her lap. Gilbert's blood ran cold when he realized she had used his nation name.

"Who are you?" He demanded.

"You do not recognize my voice?" She spoke this time in English, accent thick and clearly recognizable as Russian. Gilbert's fingers clenched around his seat, eyes darting to the other men in the compartment. He noticed now how they sat unusually straight as they continued to read their newspapers.

"I said, _who are you?"_ He pressed, something in the back of his head telling him that this was going very wrong.

The woman snorted. "How silly of me. You did not remember me seven years ago; why should you remember me now?"

Gilbert's eyes widened. _Seven __years... Mein Gott, who is this woman?_ He rose from his seat but was cut off by her cold voice,

"I would not do that if I were you."

Gilbert glanced to the two men. Still reading. "Why not?" He demanded.

"Sit," she said, and Gilbert lunged for the door.

The two men leapt up in an instant, both of them overpowering Gilbert before he could take another step. One man twisted his hand behind his back, and he felt the cool metal of handcuffs touch his skin. Gilbert shrieked a stream of insults in Russian. A giant hand closed around his head and bashed it against compartment wall so that stars spun before his eyes.

"You know Russian?" The woman said, in her own tongue. The language was like nails scraping on a chalkboard, sending a flash of horrid memories through Gilbert's head. "I am impressed; I thought you were too much of an idiot to learn it."

_"Wer bist du!?"_ Gilbert shrieked, anger and confusion raging through his veins like fire.

"Turn him around," She commanded, and the men forced Gilbert away from the compartment wall to face her. She slowly stood and reached up with delicate hands to lower the hood.

Gilbert was shocked to see that she was very young, perhaps in her early twenties. And not just that, she was beautiful. Silver-white hair cascaded around her thin shoulders in a milkly waterfall, her skin flawless porcelain. Her lips were a cherry red, high cheek bones blushed a soft pink. But most stunning of all were her eyes – a deep midnight blue, so cold and sharp that they sliced into him like daggers. Her expression was eerily blank, although he could sense a carefully contained hatred burning inside of her.

Gilbert narrowed his eyes. She looked strangely familiar…

"You do not recognize me." She stated flatly. Gilbert shook his head. For a moment he saw a flash of hurt and anger flare up in her eyes. She turned to face the window. "So be it. Take him away."

"NEIN!" He shrieked, trying uselessly to throw the two men off of him, who he now knew had to be NKVD agents. A cloth was placed over his nose and mouth, and Gilbert's brain instantly began to grow fuzzy. He struggled and kicked, tears of anger springing from his eyes as the world began to fade into blackness.

_Bruder…Bruder, nein…_

Then his legs gave way, and he was vaguely aware of his head slamming onto something before the world winked away in a white flash.

**Translations:**

**Zu Meinen Kleinen Bruder - To my little brother**

**Guten tag, Preußen. - Good day, Prussia.**

**Wer bist du!? - Who are you!?**

**Historical Notes:**

**Berlin suffered heavily from British and American airstrikes during WWII. Almost eighty percent of its historical buildings were completely destroyed by bombs, and it took years before the city was finally reconstructed. The city was also under heavy control from the British, French, American, and Soviet military.**

**AN: I will continue to drop explanations as they are needed, and don't worry, this is the shortest chapter. Thanks for reading, and please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, everyone! So sorry for the wait. **

**This story has some background from my story To Hear You Laugh ... but unfortunately I haven't finished it yet. :/ All you need to know is that Belarus and Prussia fell in love in WWI (1918) and kept it a secret from Russia. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Eleven Years Earlier**

_Dear Princess,_

_Unfortunately this will be my last letter; from now on our Awesome Army's plans are top secret. I'm not supposed to tell you this but you're a smart girl, I'm sure you knew anyway: I'm coming to Minsk. I can't tell you when, or how, but know that the next time we see each other will be in battle. If for some freak reason you meet my men first, say "Führen Sie mich zu Gilbert Beilschmidt." You gotta promise me you'll say that, verstanden? Shit can happen out there. Don't let it. _

_I don't have much time to write, so I will leave you with this: I know you will fight to the death for your brother and there is nothing I could say to change that. So, good luck Princess. Show those bastards how it's done. And when we meet again, I want you to know that I love you just as much as I did twenty-three years ago, and that's never going to change. _

_Until we meet again,_

_Gilbert_

"Sestra, what are you reading?"

Natalia jumped and folded the letter in her hands. Her eyes darted up to meet the curious gaze of Ivan standing at her doorway. It was unusual for him to pry – perhaps he had caught her smiling. "It is a letter from my boss."

"And what did he say?"

She looked down into her lap, rolling a corner of the letter between her thumb and forefinger. "He asks if you are preparing for war."

A deep _kolkolkol _filled the room. "Sestra, the Germans are not idiotic enough to try and invade the great Soviet Union. Surely you remember what happened the last time?"

Natalia felt her mind began to wander. Even after all these years she could still hear that scratchy voice at her ear, could feel warm breath tickling her neck…

_"__Nat… I have something to tell you."_

_She leaned forward to look at his face, smooth and pale blue in the moonlight. "What is it?"_

_Gilbert pulled at the threads in the comforter, his eyes refusing to meet hers. "I'm…Well - __Luddy and I we're… losing the war."_

_Natalia felt her heart grow heavy in her chest. Even so, her lips pulled into a sly smile. "I told you World Domination is a child's dream, did I not?"_

_Gilbert leaned back, his hands behind his head so that his muscles threw soft shadows across his arms. "Ja, ja, you don't have to rub it in my face. But I'm going to come back for you. The next time we get a chance..." His eyes searched the ceiling, lashes a silver cream wisp. Natalia could almost see the next World Domination scheme playing out in his head. _

_She scoffed. "What is this to you, some sort of game?"_

_Cool fingers laced with hers and he brought up her hand to place a kiss on the back of her knuckles. His lust for power tingled on her skin. She could taste it in the air – it smelled like wet coins, silk, sex. A shiver coursed through her as his blood-red eyes flicked up to meet hers, lips flashing into a glowing white grin. _

_"__This is war, Princess. It the best goddamn game ever invented."_

"…Sestra?"

Natalia blinked. She looked up to send Ivan a soft smile, her fingers tracing the ink lines where Gilbert had signed his name at the bottom of the letter. "Da, brother. I remember."

**June 28, 1941**

BOOM!

The ground shook, an explosion of dust shooting up her lungs and nose. Natalia's helmet banged against the cement wall, slamming her teeth together against the grit in her mouth. A ringing sound screeched through her skull, the cracks in the cement washing into a grey blur. She flattened herself to the ground as another shell hit the building; this time sounding like distant thunder. Natalia reached up to touch her ears. She pulled her hand back to see dark blood shimmering on the tips of her mud-caked fingers. She glanced to her right, then quickly looked away. Her fellow soldier had been hit by the blast, his arm unhinged at the elbow, dark eyes staring unblinking at the ceiling. His lips were parted in a surprised expression, as if he was trying to say something but the words never tumbled out.

Natalia shakily stood and pressed herself against the wall. The earth shook with the occasional explosions of German tank bombardment tearing into the buildings of her beloved city. Smoke and dust billowed upwards as figures of Soviet soldiers scrambled through the ruins. Natalia leaned her head on the brick and swallowed something that tasted like metal. She curled her fingers around her rifle. _Three bullets_, she thought, curling her lip in disgust. _Three goddamn bullets. Is this what you call "support", brother? _She glanced down at the dead soldier, eyes resting on his rifle. She knelt down beside him, sliding out the cartridge and emptying a single brass bullet into her hand. She slid open the cartridge, smearing blood onto the bullet as she stuffed it in. She darted to the wall again, peering around the chunks of mauled cement into the smoking streets.

Natalia's body was tense, eyes peeled for that unmistakable white head of hair, cackling laugh, and a pair of blood-red eyes. It had been days since the Nazis invaded, and she was surprised to have not seen any sign of Gilbert. Usually nations found each other easily in battle. Was he teasing her? Natalia's fingers curled around the trigger, her eyes narrowed and picking through the haze to try and make out any movement.

She saw it – a flash of a uniform, darting behind a building. She fired, then leapt over the rocks and into the streets. She pressed herself up against the wall. _Three bullets. Three goddamn bullets. _She swung into sight, aimed, and fired.

Natalia wasn't sure exactly what happened next – everything lit up around her, a blinding white, and she felt as if strings were pulling her into the air. She heard a scream inside of her head, only felt a sense of spiraling into nothingness. She tasted blood, thick and rusty in her mouth. She blinked open her eyes to be met with the washed blur of someone's face. She tried to read his lips but she didn't recognize the language.

"Eng – Englisch – Bitte…" She bent over and spit out blood onto the ground. Something knocked off her helmet, rattling her head even more. Natalia heard a gasp.

"Es ist eine Frau!"

She looked up to see the astonished faces of several Nazi soldiers. They had kicked off her helmet, and were clearly shocked to see that this Soviet soldier was a woman. She heaved herself off of the ground, her elbows trembling. Her voice scratched against her throat as she croaked, "Führen Sie mich zu Gilbert Beilschmidt."

The soldiers only stared at her with blank faces.

"Gilbert _Beilschmidt,"_ She repeated, trying to enunciate. The soldiers muttered to each other, then one stepped forward and pointed a gun to her face. "RAUS!"

Natalia struggled to her feet, swaying a little. Her eyes swept the ground to try and find her rifle, but it was nowhere in sight. She shot the soldier a dark look before following his lead through the smoke and to the Nazi camp.

The air was choked with dust and the smell of burned flesh. Every now and then Natalia stopped to look back at her burning city, only to be prodded in the back with the gun and told to move on. She couldn't help but feel a cold betrayal settle in her stomach. Didn't Ivan say he would protect her? Isn't that why they had burned every last bit of food, so that they would defeat the Germans? Thousands of her people had abandoned their homes and fled East, and all for what?

As they entered the German lines, Natalia saw groups of Soviet POW's sitting on the ground. Some were Russian, others Belarusian – many of them had dark skin and oriental eyes, recruits from Siberia and Kazakhstan. All of them, fighting for the Soviet Union… for _her._ One of the soldiers locked eyes with her. She quickly turned away.

Natalia was led to the entrance of a war tent, where the soldier barked an order at her before disappearing inside. A few minutes later, a General emerged. His hair was gold and slicked back, blue eyes as sharp as the sky. He was much too thin to be Germany, but the resemblance was striking. Perhaps that ridiculous hair-gel look was becoming popular. The General stepped out with his hands folded neatly behind his back, cold eyes looking Natalia up and down.

"Miss Belarus, is that correct?"

Natalia was relieved to at last be treated with some respect. "Yes, and I would like to speak with Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"I do not know of anyone by that name."

Natalia stared at him in disbelief. "I don't understand. Surely if you know about nations then – "

"That will be enough questions."

"As a nation representative I have the right to speak with another representation about the terms of this inva – " SLAP! Natalia's head reeled to the side and her cheek stung.

"You Slavs," The General said in a low voice. "Do not know when to shut up."

Anger flared through her; she had never been treated with such disrespect. She straightened and met his gaze with flaming eyes. "All I ask," she said in a low voice. "Is that I speak with Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"There is no Gilbert Beilschmidt."

Natalia stared at him for a moment before it dawned on her. "You're lying," she whispered. The General looked away. "You're LYING!" She moved to step forward but a strong pair of hands clamped around her wrists. She tried to twist away, her boots digging into the mud. "WHERE is he!?"

The General gave a sharp order and pain exploded in her head. Natalia's knees buckled and she collapsed onto the ground. She heard the swift _click_ of a pistol being cocked, and a cool metal ring was pressed to her temple.

"If you mention that name again, I will shoot you."

Natalia's mind swam with confusion. Why would the Nazis want to keep Gilbert's existence a secret? "What do you want," She snarled.

"We are in need of your… _condition_." The gun twisted against her scalp. "If my information is correct, you're not even human. Worse than Undesirable – you're just a freak of nature. A _thing."_ The General glanced up to the soldier holding her down, his lips curling into a smile. "Pretty bitch though, isn't she?"

"What do you _want,"_ she pressed through clenched teeth. Her hands drifted to her leg straps where two knives lay hidden in their sheaths. If only he didn't have that damn _gun_ pointed to her skull…

As if on cue, the General withdrew the pistol and took a step back. "You are to give us the location of every Jew in the city."

Natalia curled a lip. "And what makes you think I would do such a thing?" Her eyes followed his boots as he paced in front of her, noticing how the slick leather shone even in overcast.

"We are going to build a ghetto for your Jews to live in. That way they have a place to exchange culture, become closer as a community. It will be a good addition to your Capital."

Natalia could hardly believe what she was hearing. She knew the Nazis were racist against Jews, but to force families out of their homes? Something stirred in her gut; this was wrong. The question screamed through her mind with so much urgency that she had to bite her tongue to keep from asking it: _Where is Gilbert!? _Instead she clenched her jaw, fingers sliding up her thighs to brush the leather straps of her knives.

"I will never betray my people. Use those rotting sponges you call brains and find them _yourselves."_

The General whirled around, grabbing a fistful of her hair. "WAS HAST DU GESAGT, DU SCHLAMPE?"

It was exactly what Natalia needed. With one fluid motion she slipped out the knives and lunged forward. The blades were so sharp that digging into flesh felt like cutting through air. She locked eyes with the General as his widened in shock and he let out a shriek of pain. She sheathed knives and slipped the gun out of the General's holster, then whipped around and shot the soldier between the eyes.

Natalia ran.

Air burned through her lungs and her braid slapped against her back. She could hear the General screaming orders behind her, the thuds of combat boots nearing, the jangle of military equipment as more soldiers joined the chase. She headed in the direction of a VW Kübelwagen; through the dusty windows she could see the outline of a soldier's helmet. She skidded to a halt and flung the driver door open, pointing the gun to the German's face. "Drive, verstanden?" The soldier gaped at her, but she ignored him and climbed in just as bullets began to _ping_ on the metal. Natalia slammed the door shut and pressed the Luger to the soldier's neck. "GO!" The VW roared to life and lurched forward, swerving between tents and tanks and running soldiers.

"Wo!?" The soldier shouted over the engine.

"Away from here!"

Bullets pinged against the doors in rapid fire. The soldier let out a yelp, slamming on the gas as he tried to navigate out of the camp. Natalia's mind raced to come up with a plan. If she returned to the city, it was only a matter of time before the Nazis caught her again. Perhaps if she managed to drive far enough into the countryside she could slip away, maybe disguise herself as a German officer until she found Gilbert.

An explosion rattled her ear drums and the VW jerked to the side.

"Der Reifen!" The soldier shouted, struggling to gain control. Natalia risked glancing back to see another VW speeding towards them, soldiers squinting down their barrels as they opened fire.

Another explosion; this time the soldier lost control and the VW veered sideways.

"Go, GO!" Natalia screamed, digging the gun into his neck.

The soldier's face was slick with sweat, his voice cracking in panic. "Ich kann nicht! Die Reifen - - "

There was a deafening _SCREECH _as the VW swung to the side, the entire vehicle jolting up and down so that Natalia hit her head on the roof. _They've shot out the tires. _She cursed, leaning over and grabbing the wheel.

"Was machst du da?! Verrückt schlampe!"

She ignored the soldier's protests, cranking the wheel so that the VW headed straight for the trees. The soldier shouted insults, fighting for control. She elbowed him out of the way, eyes narrowed as she slammed her boot over his on the gas pedal.

Everything went white.

She lurched forwards, pain exploding in her forehead. Natalia's face felt hot, she tasted gasoline and blood. Her head rang, but she forced her eyes open. The smoke was so thick she could barely make out the slumped form of the soldier against the wheel. Natalia pulled her legs out of the crunched metal with a groan. Her hands trembled as she opened the door, stumbling into the forest. Her breathing was wet and gargled, every step sent her bones jarring. An engine rumbled to a halt behind her, leaves crunching as soldiers neared. The voices were getting nearer, gunshots ripped through the air. Leaves twitched and she felt tree bark chip and fly, rocks skipped to life in front of her. Still she ran, her lungs rattling, braid thumping against her back as she wove through the trees.

She lost her footing and the ground rushed up to meet her; she let out a cry as glass punctured her palms. Just as she made to scramble to her feet, something slammed into her back. Natalia groaned - she could feel her heartbeat hammering against her compressed ribcage, leaves and dirt pressed into her mouth. Someone hoisted her up by her shoulders, slamming her into a tree. Rough hands padded her arms, legs, waist. Natalia bared her teeth and spat, trying to twist herself free. "Bastards!" She shrieked as she felt the knives being ripped from her thighs. "Do you know who I am!?"

The soldiers didn't reply. A gun pressed to her back and rough hands forced her to walk. Natalia refused to look any of them in the eye; instead she kept her gaze trained on her knives. They had been a gift from Ivan - handcrafted, the sharpest knives in all of Russia. One of the soldiers made the mistake of glancing in her direction. "Kali vy nie viernieciesia hetyja nažy mnie, navat nie _Boh_ moža vyratavać ciabie," she hissed. He paled and looked away, quickening his pace.

It wasn't long before the VW came into sight. The soldiers opened the doors, pressing the pistol to her back. Natalia glared at them as she ducked into the seat. The soldier climbed in after her, the barrel of the Luger still pointed at her head. The engine rumbled to a start and she watched the forest fade behind the dusty window. Natalia cursed under her breath. So close… she had been so _close!_ She looked down to see that her hands were shimmering with the General's blood, pieces of glass nestled into the tender skin. She picked out the shards and dropped them between her legs, causing a soft _clink_ as they hit the floor.

"Where are you taking me?"

It was not the soldier with the gun who replied, but the driver. "To the city."

Natalia sent him a dark look in the rearview. "If you think I can be so easily persuaded to force innocent civilians out of their homes, you are mistaken."

"They're not innocent. They're Jews."

The calmness of his voice shocked her. How could a simple religion mark someone as criminal? Did all of the Nazis think this way? "I see no crimes," she said, flicking a shard of bloodied glass at the back of the driver's seat.

"Then you have not been looking."

Natalia snorted; the logic of racism had always defied her. She turned her attention to the windows, where the grass stretched out in rolling hills. She leaned forward to look at the smoke billowing up from the remaining buildings in Minsk. Gunshots and shells echoed across the countryside. Natalia felt her chest ache. _Gilbert, where are you? _She had been expecting the Nazis to drive her into the city itself, but instead the VW pulled to the side of the road a few kilometers away. Natalia scanned the area for any sign of prisoner groups - it appeared to be empty. The driver shut of the engine and stepped out, slamming the door behind him. He barked some orders in German, then several more soldiers ran to the door where she sat. Firm hands grasped her by the arms and shoulders, forcing her out of the VW. "I can get out _myself,"_ she snarled, trying to twist away, but their grips only tightened. Natalia inwardly moaned – of course security would be high after she'd escaped from two armed officers.

The soldiers led her to the side of the road. A soft breeze played through the loose strands in her braid, dirt-caked bangs brushing her forehead. At first she was confused at the absence of any kind of encampment, until she heard a cry in her own language:

"NO! Please, sir, I beg you, he is only a child!"

Natalia tensed. She caught sight of several figures nearing them from the direction of the city, each led by gunpoint. As the voices became clearer, she recognized them as a family. There was a mother, a father, an older sister and a young boy who looked about five years old. A cold feeling settled in Natalia's stomach. "What is the meaning of this?" She demanded, wincing at the distressed cries of the mother.

The driver stepped in front of her, his hands behind his back. "We have orders to gain your cooperation, Miss Belarus. You must understand what is at stake for you and your people."

"PLEASE!" The woman sobbed, tears running down her face. "P-Please, you can take us, just let the children go!"

"Mamaaa!" The boy wailed.

Natalia's eyes darted from one teary face to the next. "They are civilians! They have done nothing wrong!"

"They are Jews," the soldier said calmly. "That is enough."

She stared at him in horror. _No…_

The soldiers leading the family pushed each of them down onto their knees. The woman was crying hysterically by now, her wails shooting raw fear through Natalia's veins. The girl's shoulders shook with silent sobs, while the father stared mournfully at the ground. Tears rolled down the boy's cheeks but Natalia knew they were tears of confusion. He was much too young to understand what was about to happen to his family.

"ZIELEN!" The soldiers raised their weapons.

"NO!" Natalia fought against the soldiers holding her back. "What is it, what do you want me to do?"

"FEUER!"

A gunshot rang through the air and the woman screamed. The man slumped forward into the grass.

"We've already told you," The soldier said, not bothering to look back at Natalia. "You will locate the Jews."

"That is ridiculous, you can't possibly expect me to – "

"ZIELEN!"

"They're my _people!"_

"FEUER!"

Another gunshot – this time the girl fell over. The woman pressed her face into the ground, her entire body shaking with sobs. "Tanyaaa!" She wailed. "Oh, Go-od! Oh, God, p-please help us!" The boy looked at the slumped body of his sister, eyes wide with fear. Natalia was so shocked that she didn't know what to do. She needed _help,_ she needed help from -

_"Gilbert?"_

_"Ja?"_

_She leaned sideways, resting her head on his shoulder and ghosting her hands over the smooth muscles in his arm. She felt him relax at her touch. "What will the world be like, when you have it all?"_

_"When I have it all?" Gilbert's lips curled into a smirk. "You mean when we win." _

_"Da." She tilted her head up so that her breath was hot against his ear, her voice thick as she whispered, "When you finally have what you've always wanted. All the power in the world at your fingertips, nations bowing down at your feet. They tremble just at the name: Gilbert Beilschmidt."_

_Gilbert moaned in the back of his throat. "Nat, you're turning me on."_

_"That doesn't answer my question." _

_"Ah fuck, I was kidding." His arm came around to rest on her shoulders, pulling her close as he cocked his head to flash her a grin. "I'll tell you what it's gonna be like, Princess. It's going to be Awesome." _

"ZIELEN!"

Panic shot through her, and with a surge of adrenaline she dug her boots into the mud, hurling herself away from the soldiers. Her braid swung over her shoulder and she felt hot tears well up in her eyes. "GILBERRRT!"

"FEUER!"

The woman fell silent.

Natalia watched as her body rolled to the side, softly, the only sound coming from the distant fighting in Minsk. "Mama?" The boy stared at his mother with shimmering eyes. He tried to turn around, but the soldier grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to face the other way. "Mama!" The boy cried, his lip trembling. He looked up at Natalia with big, brown eyes. "Dapamažy mnie!"

"ZIELEN!"

"STOP!"

At last the driver turned to her, his expression blank. Natalia refused to look him in the eye, her gaze fixed onto the ground.

"I… I agree to your terms."

"You will tell us where each Jew lives," the soldier clarified.

"Yes."

"And you will assist us in relocating them to the ghetto."

"Yes."

"And you understand that any Jew you assist in escape will be shot on sight."

Natalia closed her eyes, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes."

"That is very wise of you, Miss Belarus. Shoot him."

Her eyes flew open just as the last gunshot rang out. She saw the blood spurt from the back of the wound, the little boy's face freezing in an expression of shock before his body crumpled into the grass.

Natalia stared. She could barely comprehend what she was seeing. Her legs went weak and she fell to her knees. "No…" Tears welled up in her eyes. "No…"

"Take her back to camp," the soldier ordered. Rough hands pulled her to her feet, and she stumbled as she was led back to the VW. She glanced back over her shoulder at the four bodies lying side-by-side. A dark pain twisted in her heart. Those were _her _people. And she had been helpless to save them. Natalia stared out of the window, pressing a bloodied hand against the glass as the engine rattled to life and the dead family and smoking city began to shrink behind them.

She had been awaiting this invasion for twenty-three years. Twenty-three _years_, and she could never have imagined anything as horrid and inhumane as what she had just witnessed.

_Gilbert… what have you done?_

**Translations: **

**Führen Sie mich zu Gilbert Beilschmidt-Take me to Gilbert Beilschmidt.**

**Es ist eine Frau! -It's a woman!**

**WAS HAST DU GESAGT, DU SCHLAMPE?! -WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU BITCH!?**

**Wo!? - Where!?**

**Ich kann nicht! Die Reifen... - I can't! The tires...**

**Was machst du da?! Verrückt schlampe! -What are you doing!? Crazy bitch!**

**Kali vy nie viernieciesia hetyja nažy mnie , navat nie _Boh_ moža vyratavać ciabie. - If you do not return those knives to me, not even _God_ can save you.**

**ZIELEN! -AIM!**

**FEUER! -FIRE!**

**Dapamažy mnie! - Help me!**

**Historical Notes:**

**The Axis powers invaded the Soviet Union on June 22, 1941. Soviet authorities immediately evacuated about 20% of the population of Belarus and destroyed all food supplies. The city of Minsk was captured on June 28 in a series of bloody encirclement battles, and by August all of the present-day Belarus territory was occupied by the Nazis. Atrocities against the Jewish population began almost immediately, with the dispatch of Einsatzgruppen (task groups) to round up Jews and shoot them. By the end of 1941 there were more than 50,000 troops devoted to rounding up and killing Jews. Shortly after the invasion began the construction of the Minsk Ghetto, one of the largest ghettos in Eastern Europe that housed almost 100,000 Jews. **

**AN:**

**Many thanks to my friend from Dresden who continues to do my German translations, despite me nagging him on facebook for 2 years XD. If you're interested, I FINALLY finished the next chapter to my collab story about the Vietnam War (under the account "Travelbugs"). It will be posted shortly! Most of my stories focus on Eastern Europe, so I rarely get to write for my all-time favorite character: America ;) Also I have been published in several online magazines - the links are posted on my profile. ****Thanks so much for reading, and reviews are much loved!**


	3. Chapter 3

**IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:  
****I know it has almost been a year since I last updated this story. Part of the reason is that this was a very difficult chapter for me to get through. The rating of the story is being raised for adult content, and there is a trigger warning for sexual harassment.  
I want to make it very clear that this is by no means a kinky fic meant for your entertainment. While Natalia is a fictional character, many women in WWII had similar experiences with soldiers (not just Nazi, but also Soviet) – and often times, much worse. What these women went through is unimaginable, and I want to treat this subject with the upmost respect.**

**Thank you so much for your patience.**

* * *

The only thing Natalia could feel was fear. It ran like electricity through the city, in the cries of children, the screams of mothers, the yells of the Nazi soldiers. It invaded her senses, crawling up her spine and shrieking in her ears, her heart – Minsk – fluttering rapidly in her chest. She could feel the burning sensation inside of her, the feeling of a million hands poking and prodding at her insides. This was invasion. And she was being forced to participate in it.

Buildings had been destroyed by the shelling. Walls and ceilings sagged, piles of concrete spilled onto the streets. Some stood as blackened shells, ghosts of what had been before the invasion. A steady stream of civilians flowed out of their living places as they all funneled towards the ghetto. Some carried suitcases, others didn't have a chance before they had been forced out with nothing but the clothes on their backs. Families held hands as they tried to stay together in the chaos. The occasional shot rang out; Natalia winced as she nearly stepped in a pool of fresh blood on the shattered cobblestone. She kept her eyes down, not able to bare looking her people even as she betrayed them. Gentiles stood on the side of the road, watching in silence as the Jewish population of Minsk were flushed out of their homes like vermin. She heard a small boy ask his older sister, "Where are they going?"

"Away from us," she answered.

Natalia shuddered. Antisemitism was not just limited to the West – her people held their own prejudices. She never understood the way that humans categorized each other. As far as she was concerned, the Jews were still her children.

"This apartment block!" The leader of the small task force shouted over the din. Crowds parted before them, rushing away from the group of Nazi soldiers. He turned to Natalia. "Are there any hiding?"

She closed her eyes, trying to concentrate past the panic and the pain burning in her chest. She let her consciousness slip from herself and extending into the city. Her eyes opened in closets, under floors, with hushed whispers and frightened breathing in the dark.

"Well?"

Natalia opened her eyes to stare at the cracked cobblestone. "Yes."

"Speak up, Schlampe!"

She winced at the name that had been screamed at her for the past two hours. "Yes," she said in a louder voice.

"Where?"

Her voice cracked as she answered, "Third floor."

"RAUS!" The soldier shouted to the small unit, as they marched in the direction of the apartment. Natalia was prodded in the back with a pistol and she stepped forward. She glanced sideways just in time to watch a soldier strike an elderly man to the ground, and as she turned away she could hear the dull thud of a boot kicking him. Natalia put a hand to her mouth as her body convulsed. She coughed vomit into the street, the pale liquid splattering her uniform. "März, Sie slawischen Ratte!" the soldier with the pistol ordered, shoving her in the shoulder. Natalia groaned, wrapping her arms tight around her stomach as she kept walking.

When the task force arrived at the front door, they threw it open with a BANG! "By order of the Third Reich, all Jews must vacate their homes immediately and report to the Minsk ghetto!" The commander shouted, his voice echoing in the narrow halls. There was a moment of silence as he waited for a response. "Anyone who denies these commands will be removed from their homes by force!" More silence. "Fools," he scoffed.

"Perhaps they cannot understand you," Natalia muttered, wiping the bile from her mouth.

His icy-blue gaze slid in her direction, his expression unchanging. "Search the third floor."

The soldier behind her grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up the stairs. Boot stomps and the clattering of weapons echoed in the stairwell. "Which room, schlampe?" The soldier demanded, gloved hands holding her in front of the group. Natalia could feel her people. Their fear burned her, screamed for her to help. She swallowed hard, then heard a pistol being cocked. "If you want those Untermenschen to stay alive when we find them – because we will – then you will tell us, _which room?_"

Natalia squeezed her eyes shut and commanded herself not to throw up again. Her hands began to shake, her words scalding the inside of her throat as she said, "Fourth door to the left." Boots thudded down the halls as the task force swarmed around her. The soldiers stood back as one kicked down the door. BANG! BANG! With each strike Natalia tensed, pulling away from the Nazi holding her. She didn't want to see this. She didn't want to be a part of this.

Finally the wood on the door splintered and it swung open. The soldiers burst inside, shouting angry German. Natalia stumbled forward as the Nazi forced her into the apartment. Logs were still crackling in the fireplace, there were glasses of water and a half-eaten loaf of bread on the table. One soldier kicked the table over, dishes sliding off and exploding into shards of porcelain on the floor.

"Stop, what are you doing!?"

Another swiped a family portrait off the wall and stepped on it, cracking the glass. Natalia's eyes widened in horror as one man opened the cabinets in the kitchen, throwing dishes out onto the floor. CRASH! Tables, chairs, books – ripped and kicked over, all the while shouting in a language that her people couldn't understand. Pieces of this family's lives – photographs of loved ones, toy blocks, the morning newspaper – shattered and stomped on, everything destroyed before her eyes.

"STOP! What are you doing, there is no reason to – "

There was a shout from across the house, and with a clomping of boots the soldiers all ran to a back room. Natalia's heart leapt in her throat and she followed. She rounded the corner to see a soldier with his gun pointed to a closet. He said something in quick German, then another opened the door. Natalia held her breath, then was relieved when nobody was inside. The commander pointed his gun at the ceiling and fired a shot.

There was a muffled scream.

"No," Natalia whispered as the soldier felt along the back of the closet, then slid open a second door. Five pairs of eyes shimmered in the darkness, fingers curled around each other's arms and shoulders.

The soldier barked a series of orders in German, reaching in and grabbing one of the children by the arm. "NO!" the woman wailed in Belarusian. She ducked out of the closet, arms wrapped tight around her two children as she reached for her boy. "No, don't take them, _plea-ease!_" The soldiers only shouted louder, waving their guns in front of the children's terrified faces as they pulled them out of the closet, the mother stumbling after. Tears ran down the children's faces as they clung onto their mother, then a man staggered out and looked up to lock eyes with Natalia.

"Natalia Arlovskaya?"

She froze. It was Taras, a man she worked with in the government office. She could only stare at him in shock as his brows drew into a frown. "You – you told them?"

She struggled to find her voice but nothing came out.

"You TOLD them!" he shouted as the Nazis shoved him out of the room. "You gave away my family! My children! My house, my life! What – how could you, I _trusted_ you!"

Natalia trembled so badly she could barely stand. His voice broke into sobs as it faded down the hallway: "You TOLD them!"

Natalia couldn't breathe. She twisted from the soldiers grip and burst out of the room, racing down the hallway.

"HALT!"

Boots thudded behind her but all she could hear was the echoes of Taras's voice in her ears. Halfway down the stairs Natalia tripped, her hands slamming into the wood as she slid down and banged her head on the wall. The world swirled around her, a mixture of screams and cries for help, tears and pleas of mercy. She pressed a hand to her head and moaned, struggling to her knees to look straight into the barrel of a gun.

Natalia's sides heaved as she looked from the gun to the soldier. Then she did something she had not done in public for almost a century: She started to cry. She couldn't stop it – the hyperventilation, the feeling that her chest was being crushed and the oxygen squeezed from her throat. The face of the soldier blurred as her eyes heated with tears.

"N-no," she begged. "It would be better for me to die than betray them!" The soldier only looked at her with a blank stare. "SHOOT ME!" She screamed, grabbing the pistol and pulling it to her head. Her entire body racked with horse gasps for air. "Sh-shoot me, dammit, I can't do this anymore!"

The stairwell echoed with the clatter of the remaining task force crowding behind the soldier holding the gun. The commander gave Natalia another one of his cool gazes, then barked an order. The soldier pocketed his gun and reached down to grab Natalia by the arm.

"You idiot!" She shrieked, trying to twist away. "Didn't you hear what I said, _shoot_ me!"

"There's no reason to spill your dirty Slavic blood just yet," The commander growled. More hands grabbed her and shoved her forward, down the remaining stars and out into the streets. Once again the electric fear fluttered in Natalia's throat, her heart hammering in her chest and screaming for her to defend her people. The commander scanned the panicked crowd, then pointed in the direction of a family with a small girl. "That one."

Natalia's eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

The soldiers ran forward, the father turning around just in time to see them grab hold of the child. The mother spun around as her hand slipped from her daughter's. "NO!" she screamed. Her husband held her back, but still she kicked and wailed. The soldiers pulled the child away, forcing her to her knees as one held a pistol to her head.

A strength overcame Natalia that she had never experienced before. With a violent twist, she broke from the Nazis' grip and sprinted towards the soldier. "STOP! As the nation representative of Belarus, I command you to _let the child go!" _The soldier tensed but didn't move, his hand balling tight around the girl's collar.

"You know the terms, schlampe." the commander said evenly. "You break your promise, and the girl dies."

Natalia stared in horror through her tears. The fear reflected in the girl's brown eyes was the very same fear she had seen in the boy only days before… right before he was shot. "I – I keep my promise," she said in a shaky voice. The commander nodded, and the soldier lowered his gun. "Gut. The girl comes with us."

The mother let out another wail, falling to her knees as her husband tried to hold her back. Natalia was struck with horror as she realized what the Nazis were doing – they were going to use this innocent girl as leverage until every Jew had been scraped from the closets, attics, and basements of Minsk. She rushed to the mother, putting her hands on the woman's shoulders. The terrified eyes that looked back at her were the eyes of someone who had lost everything.

"Do not worry," she said in the most confident voice she could manage, aware that her cheeks were still shimmering with tears. "I swear to God, I will protect the child with my life. No harm will come to her. I will return her to you by tonight."

The torrent of fear in the woman's eyes calmed, as only one given a promise by their nation could be consoled. "God give you strength," she whispered, then closed her eyes and pressed her forehead to the brick as she broke into sobs.

Natalia turned to the girl and knelt down in front of her. Large brown eyes looked back, frozen in a look of fear and confusion. "What is your name, child?" The girl didn't answer. Natalia closed her eyes and took a breath, and then it came to her. "Alina," she said, opening her eyes. "Your name is Alina."

The girl nodded.

Natalia lowered her voice to a whisper, the chaos of the streets forgotten in that one moment. "These men are going to take us to look at some houses, okay Alina? And they need to you come with us."

The girl shook her head, curls bouncing as she did so.

"I know you want to be with your mother. But your mother will be safe. And you are safe because I am here to protect you. These men will do bad things, scary things. But I will not let any harm come to you." The girl only stared at Natalia, but she could see in those eyes a shimmer of trust. Natalia leaned forward, bringing the girl to her chest in a tight hug. "I swear," she whispered, her eyes heating up with tears. "You will see her again." She felt small fists close around the folds of her uniform. Though splattered with blood, she hoped the child could find some scrap of comfort there.

Natalia stood up, lifting Alina into her arms. "You can put those ridiculous weapons away," she snarled. The commander nodded and the Nazis lowered their rifles. "RAUS!"

The nightmare continued. Natalia could no longer avoid the pools of blood in the streets, the screams now joined with barks from German shepherds lunging from their leashes, white saliva splattering from their mouths. This time she could not afford to argue with the soldiers as they forced her into another apartment building. Every fiber of her body screamed for her not to do this, but the soft breathing of Alina against her chest and the small fingers clutching her uniform were a constant reminder of what was at stake. A part of her knew that the dozens of lives she was selling to the Nazis was worth the life of this one child… but she also knew that the Nazis would murder as many children as it would take to gain her cooperation. The ghetto was unthinkable, yes… but wasn't it better than being shot?

What Natalia hated most was that Alina was a witness to her betrayal. The girl remained silent, never speaking a word or even crying throughout the entire ordeal. But Natalia couldn't bare to imagine what this child must think of her. She could see the question burning in those innocent eyes: _Why are you doing this? Aren't you one of us? _She imagined Alina returning to tell her mother about the Belarusian woman who led the Nazis straight to the doors of her own people. Not only that, but Taras was the first out of many to recognize her. Natalia looked away, running trembling fingers through Alina's curls as more accusations were hurled at her past the shouts of German soldiers and the wails of children.

_How could you!? We thought you cared for us, Natalia! We trusted you, and this is how you repay us? _

Each scream, each sob for mercy felt like a dagger being sunk into her gut. More than once Natalia was forced to set Alina down as she hurled vomit onto the floor or in the streets. The girl only watched with a blank expression, but once she came over and put a small hand on Natalia's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. This only caused tears to well up in Natalia's eyes – she didn't deserve compassion, not from this innocent girl who had been ripped from her family just to be used as leverage.

Occasionally the Jews would refuse to come out of their hiding places, and the Nazis lost patience. "Close your eyes," Natalia whispered, and Alina would bury her head into her shoulder. She covered the girl's ears, but she knew that nothing would block out the gunshots and screams, the thick scent of blood pooling onto the floor. Natalia pleaded for the Nazis to allow her to wait outside of the apartments, but they refused.

It went on for hours.

The shadows in the blood-stained streets of Minsk grew long as the sun sank towards the horizon, choked out by the smoke. At last the commander barked a sharp order, and the task force fell in line and began to march back to camp.

"Wait!" Natalia shouted, and the officer turned to give her an indifferent look. "What about the child?"

"What about it?"

She cringed at the pronoun. "I promised I would return her to her mother."

The commander let out a short, barking laugh. "That's impossible, the wench is in the ghetto."

"Then let me find her. It won't take me long, I can sense – "

"Look at the sky, Slav! We're running out of daylight, it'll take you hours to sniff out a rat in a rat's nest. You can drop off your Jew at the entrance, that is all."

Natalia wanted to argue, but she knew that it would be useless. Alina's head rested on her shoulder as the task force fell in line, moving towards the Ghetto. Her stomach clenched as they neared it. A dull wail rose up from behind the black walls – the moaning of thousands of people who had been robbed of their homes and lives overnight. Natalia tried to swallow the lump forming in her throat as they neared the entrance.

A Nazi guard stood by the gate. "Heil Hitler!" He shouted, snapping into a salute.

"Heil Hitler!" The commander exchanged some words with the guard, nodding towards the girl in Natalia's arms. The guard nodded, and approached her.

"She must be returned to her mother!" She shouted over the wailing from behind the wall. "Her name is Alina, I promised I would return her – "

"Shut up and hand it over," The commander snapped.

Natalia glared at him, but she didn't want to make a scene. She carefully set Alina down on the cobblestone, reaching forward to tuck brown curls behind her ears. Looking into those scared eyes she couldn't hold back the tears. "I… I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry you had to see this."

The guard placed a hand on Alina's shoulder and the girl jumped. She looked to Natalia with scared eyes and spoke her first word, "Mama?"

"This man will take you to her," Natalia assured, knowing that it was a lie. "And if he doesn't, then ask for help, okay? Tell other people that you're looking for your mother. Tell them your name and they will help, do you understand?"

The girl nodded, then stumbled forwards as the Nazi guard brought her into the gate. She looked back over her shoulder and Natalia stared into soft brown eyes before they disappeared behind the wall.

As Natalia stood in the shadow of the ghetto, the wails of thousands of her people scraping through the air, she realized two things. It was unlikely that anyone inside would help Alina find her mother. And it would have been better for her people to be shot than to live like animals in a cage.

~/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/~

There was great celebration in the Nazi camp that night.

The damp earth soaked through Natalia's uniform, now grimy with days' worth of filth. The soldiers had yet to offer her any fresh clothes, and she refused to undress even if it meant reeking of blood and sweat. Her wrists were raw from the metal shackles that kept her captive – an extra precaution after her near escape days earlier. Two soldiers kept guard, rifles in hand as they looked longingly at the tent a few hundred yards away.

The light from inside glowed orange, lively with silhouettes of drunken soldiers stumbling over each other and raising pints of beer in victorious toasts. German drinking songs rumbled from within the tent, and to Natalia's surprise she recognized some of them. She squinted at the figures, trying to see if there was a familiar head of scruffy hair among the crowd. Natalia caught herself and scoffed – of course Gilbert would not be there. He was nowhere near Minsk; for all she knew, he might not even be in Belarus.

_And when we meet again, I want you to know that I love you just as much as I did twenty-three years ago, and that's never going to change. _

Natalia pulled her knees up to her chin, the chains clinking as she leaned on the tattered fabric and continued to watch the celebrations inside of the tent. The same questions chased circles in her head: Where was Gilbert? Why had he left her? And if he had been here… her stomach clenched. _Would he be celebrating with the others? Would he have put a gun to my children's head and demanded that I betray them?_ Natalia didn't know. She wanted to believe that if Gilbert was here, he wouldn't have let the soldiers lay a finger on her people. But if this was how the Nazis conducted their invasions, surely Gilbert would have seen this elsewhere? None of his letters had described anything like what she had just witnessed. He had raved about the tanks, the bombers, the guns… but not a word of ethnic cleansing. Natalia knew that Gilbert was smart, ruthless, and would do anything to gain more power. This is why she had fallen in love with him all those years ago – she admired his strength and ambition. But would he go to such lengths as this to achieve "World Domination?" Had he been ignorant of the Nazi's intentions, or just hiding it so that Natalia wouldn't be appalled? As she craned her neck to look across the horizon towards her broken city, Natalia was struck with the most terrifying question of them all: _Does he even love me anymore?_

Just then a dark figure emerged from the tent. The two soldiers standing guard straightened at their posts, averting their eyes from the celebrations as they pretended to be focused on Natalia. There was something odd about the way this man walked. His stride was perfectly normal, only it was far from the rigid march that Nazi soldiers used. Natalia's stomach twisted with dread when she realized that not only was he drunk, but he was coming this way.

"Heil Hitler!" The guards saluted simultaneously.

"Heil Hitler," the soldier muttered, lifting his arm in a sloppy salute. He waved in Natalia's direction. "Der Kapitän will sie zu sehen."

Both guards exchanged a nervous glance. "Jetzt?"

The officer growled a grumbling stream of German and the guards leapt to attention. "Jawohl!" They turned to Natalia, and she watched them with daggers in her eyes as they unshackled her chains at gunpoint. One soldier grabbed her arm, hoisting her to her feet.

"I can walk by _myself,_" she hissed, trying to twist away. Must she be forced everywhere she went?

The soldiers ignored her. "The captain has requested your presence," one of them said in a thick accent. "Consider yourself lucky – he's in a good mood when drunk."

As they forced her closer to the tent and the jovial shouts of men grew louder, Natalia realized that she was anything but lucky. She disliked men, and even more than that she disliked drunken men. And now she was headed into a jostling tent full of them. Upon ducking into the flap she was hit with the musky stench of sweat and alcohol, her ears ringing with the booms of deep voices and the clink of glasses. Natalia didn't bother to hide the look of disgust on her face. Still, she held her head high as she was lead past the bustling soldiers towards the back of the tent.

It was impossible to ignore the turned heads as she went. Soldiers elbowed each other, lips spreading into knowing grins as hungry eyes followed her figure through the crowd. Natalia knew all too well the consequences of being a woman at war. These men hadn't laid eyes on one since they left their homes in Germany. Usually drunken men were ideal for manipulation and Natalia felt more in control. But now she was so outnumbered that their gazes seemed to crush her.

At last the guards stopped in front of an officer. He looked young for someone of such high rank, with sandy-blond hair that was combed to the side. He was entertaining a group of officers who were having a hearty laugh at a joke. When he saw Natalia, his lips spread into a perfectly straight grin. For a moment she was struck with the image of Gilbert shooting her that same, cocky smile. "Ah, hier ist unsere kleine Prinzessin!" The officer yelled, sweeping his hands in a wide gesture.

She narrowed her eyes and shot him a glare that could chill blood. "Do _not _call me that," she hissed. 'Princess' was the same condescending nickname that Gilbert had given her… only he had later proved to treat her as royalty. It was clear how the Nazis intended to treat her, and she would not allow them to humiliate her even further.

"Ah, but it is so fitting!" The officer's blue eyes sparked with mischief as he continued to address the tent. "You are the Princess of this city, are you not? You knew where every Jew was hiding, you even knew their names! We should keep you around, ja?" Laughter flitted through the crowd. The captain took several steps towards her, sipping from his beer as he did so. He looked her up and down; she felt as though he was stripping her with his eyes. "And… pardon me for being so forward_ Fraulein_… but for a Slav you are quite beautiful."

She spat in his face, drawing dark _'oohs'_ from the crowd. "Go to hell."

By now most of the soldiers had circled around her, fascinated by this new form of entertainment. Natalia's fingers twitched; she needed her knives. The officer scowled and wiped his face on a sleeve, but his spirits were hardly dampened. "Of course that disgusting Soviet uniform isn't helping you much in that department. Our Princess should dress like one, ja?"

Shouts of agreement went up around the tent. Natalia's eyes darted from face to face, wishing death upon each of them. If she was armed, she could easily kill every single one of these drunken bastards.

"But where can we find something for you to wear… perhaps from one of your 'people', is that what you call those rats?" One of the soldiers passed a lump of shimmering emerald fabric to to the captain, and Natalia recognized it as a dress. Her eyes widened when she realized what the captain meant.

"That does not belong to you," she hissed.

"You're right. It belongs to _you."_ He threw it at her and she jumped, causing the men to laugh. "Go on then, Princess! We've given you something nice to wear, put it on!"

A roar of approval rose up from the crowd, the soldiers grinning and raising their pints in the air. Natalia shoved the dress into the captain's chest. "It would look better on _you,"_ she hissed. "You can wear it as a token of the lives you and your disgusting men have destroyed."

The captain's jovial expression flashed with irritation. "Fine, if you're going to be difficult…" He turned to the crowd and scanned the drunk faces, then pointed to a soldier. "Soldat!" He barked. "Suchen sie nach Waffen."

Natalia saw the soldier's face light up with a hunger she recognized. She looked to the captain with horror. "What did you just say?"

"You are a dangerous _Schlampe_, this you've already proven with your little escape. It's only fair for us to make sure you're not hiding anything under that uniform, isn't that right Princess?"

Natalia barely had the chance to respond before a pair of rough hands grabbed her and forced her to lean onto a table. Hot, drunken breath panted behind her neck as a thick hand came to rest on her side, then moved down her uniform. Natalia shrieked and recoiled away. There was a ripple of pistols being cocked. "Calm down, Princess, we only want to check for weapons, that's all!" More laughter.

She glared at the officer. "You are all simpletons. I would rather take a thousand bullets than succumb to your demeaning methods of intimidation."

Once again irritation flashed in those eyes, and the captain scowled before pulling out his own pistol.

BANG!

"AAH!" Hot pain roared through Natalia's shoulder, and she pressed a hand to the wound as blood seeped through the cracks in her fingers.

"How does that feel, Schlampe? A _thousand,_ you said? I think it would be much easier for us all if you would just let our friend here search you for weapons, ja? Or…" He held up the dress, a smile snaking across his face. "You can strip and get it over with. Your choice, Fraulein."

If looks could have killed, this disgusting man would have dropped dead minutes ago. Natalia realized that the longer she fought back, the longer she would be entertaining these beasts. She saw it in their eyes: the fire awaiting the fight, longing for the satisfaction of knowing that they had subdued another Undesirable. While she was repulsed by the idea of giving them that satisfaction, it was better to let them think they had bested her than to continue feeding their bloodlust. And hungry eyes gazing upon her body was certainly better than hands defiling it, not to mention bullets ripping through it. It was obvious that Natalia would need all of her strength if she was going to survive this war and help her people. Getting shot on purpose was nothing short of irresponsible.

"I need my strength to defeat you scum and I refuse to be your play thing," she snarled, snatching the dress from the captain. "Know this is my only reason."

His eyes glittered. "Whatever you say, Princess."

Natalia straightened and swept her gaze across the circle of men, looking each of them in the eye. "My name is Natalia Arlovskaya, nation representative of Belarus. And when this is over, know that you will all burn for eternity in the deepest circle of Hell."

The men chuckled. "Get on with it!" One of them shouted in a thick accent.

Though her gut roiled with what she was about to do, Natalia refused to show any weakness. She straightened, then looked the captain straight in the eye as she began to unbutton her uniform. As the alcohol-stained air bit into her bare skin, Natalia realized that shedding this uniform meant that she had surrendered the fight. And this dress… it belonged to someone else, a woman who was probably wailing inside of the ghetto at this very moment. It was almost better for Natalia to be forced to wear a Nazi uniform than this – it felt as though she was donning a carcass.

Hungry fires burned in the men's eyes as she shed her jacket, her skin crawling with the feeling of them boring into her. She began pulling the dress over her head but the captain cut in, "I said strip, Fraulein."

Natalia thought of spitting in his face, but decided against it. She would be better than them. She would remove her clothes with such dignity that they would be ashamed to realize they were forcing a lady into humiliation. The tent filled with whistles and exclamations of approval as her pants slid to the ground with a rattle of a belt buckle. The air was hot and sticky, but suddenly felt cool against her bare skin. Natalia pulled the pants over her boots, then stood up straight as she glared at the officer.

_This is my body. This is my country. Look on it and know that you have destroyed it. _

Her skin was covered in smudged dirt, slick with sweat and blotched with dark bruises. Blood zigzagged from the bullet wound on her shoulder, dripping down her side in an angry red streak. Natalia dug her fingers into the wound, clenching her jaw as she pulled out the bullet and flicked it towards the captain. The surprised look on his face as he stepped back stirred a slight satisfaction in her.

"Tonight you drink to the blood of my people. Jewish though it may be, you must find some satisfaction in the way it slicks down your throats."

For the first time the men seemed to lose their focus on her body, some of their eyes falling to the floor as they registered what she had said. "I hope you suffocate in it," she hissed, before pulling the dress over her head and letting it fall around her hips.

The captain grabbed her arm, his teeth clenched in a snarl. "That will be enough of your blathering," he growled.

"I will say what I wish. You and your men will be cheering by the time I am on my way to Berlin."

"Berlin?" The captain's lips twitched into a smile. "Now why on earth would you go there?"

A dark feeling settled in Natalia's stomach. "As the nation representative I am to be delivered to the conquering nation's headquarters."

"Nation representative?" The commander scoffed. "You may claim whatever fancy titles you wish, Fraulein. But to me you're just a Slav, and a pretty one at that." He jerked her close to him as he hissed into her ear, "Locating the Jews will not be your only service to the Third Reich."

Natalia tried to ignore the fear rising in her throat. "I'd die first."

"Ah, but that's the beauty of it, ja?" The captain said, his eyes glowing with a lust for power. His voice tickled Natalia's neck as he whispered, "You can't."

Natalia's breath caught in her throat. Before she could think of a come-back, the captain barked an order at the guard and firm arms grabbed her, forcing her back through the crowd. Once again hungry eyes followed her, rough fingers reaching out like claws to brush the back of her neck, the skirts of her dress, hot breath swirling around her in a thick fog. When at last she ducked out of the tent, Natalia had to hold her stomach to keep from throwing up. The shackles were cold around her wrists, the night air drafted beneath the dress. There was a strange clinking sound, then Natalia realized that she was trembling.

_Moonlight glowed a soft blue on Gilbert's bare chest, rough fingers running through her hair. His smile was so different than his trademark grin – distant and genuine._

_"What are you thinking?" She asked, tilting her head._

_"I'm thinking what a lucky bastard I am. Do you know how many men would kill to make a score like this?"_

_"They have tried."_

_"Yeah, well you know what I'd do if anyone even looked at you the wrong way."_

_Natalia slid her hand up his chest and looked into those eyes. In the darkness they looked black, like oil. "What?"_

_Gilbert's lips pulled into a bloodthirsty grin. "I'd rip their fucking heads off."_

Natalia clasped her hands around her knees, pulling the dress tight against herself so that she caught the faint scent of perfume still lingering on the fabric. At the time Gilbert's protective threats had seemed ridiculous – Natalia prided herself in her ability to manipulate and kill without hesitation. For centuries she had been alone, dependent on her instincts and cunning to survive in a world where she was underestimated because of her gender. But this... this was like nothing she had ever experienced. And if the officer had been telling the truth, then Natalia would not be returning to Berlin anytime soon.

She craned her neck up to look at the night sky, the stars choked out from the smoke rising from the ruins of her city. "Gilbert," she whispered, hating the way her voice trembled. "Where are you?"

**History Notes**

**The Minsk Ghetto was created shortly after the Nazi takeover of the Belarusian capital. The total population of the ghetto was about 80,000, many of them ****refugees and Jews forcibly resettled by the Nazis from nearby areas. Later a second ghetto was added for Jews deported from the West, known as Ghetto Hamburg. ** **Every night the Gestapo would murder 70–80 of the new arrivals, most of them from Germany and Bohemia. Jews were forced to work in German-run factories, and the conditions inside the ghetto were extremely poor with lack of food and medical supplies. In March 1942, 5,000 Jews were killed nearby the site of the ghetto, and it was liquidated on October 21, 1943. The remaining inhabitants were sent to extermination camps, and by the time the Red Army retook the city on July 3 ,1944 there were only a few survivors. **

**AN: I recommend listening to Regina Spektor's "Open" on Youtube – she comes from a Russian Jewish family, and her songs have the same political style as Russian bards. It is very moving and captures the mood of this part of the story in a way that I never could.**

**Once again, I thank all of you for having such amazing patience with me, and I hope that this chapter did not disappoint. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, another year! You guys are truly superheroes for waiting this long.**

**There are two reasons for the agonizing pace of my updates: 1) I am working on the second draft of DITR which takes first priority and 2) As you will discover, writing this part of the story has been very difficult for me. These last two chapters have probably been the darkest I have ever written, and it is emotionally taxing to step into this world. The good news is that this chapter marks the worst of Natalia's story; things will get slightly better in the future, I promise.**

**There is another trigger warning here for sexual abuse (right at the beginning so if you don't want to read it, skip past the italics.)  
**

**Thank you again for your amazing patience; you guys are the literal best!**

* * *

_"Find them! Find them, find them, FIND THEM!" The General screamed, hurling a beer bottle at her. Natalia cried out and hid behind her arms, the glass shattering and cutting into her skin. She fell to the floor of his tent, trying to back away. He towered over her and reached down to grab her wrist, pulling her up so that his rank breath filled her lungs._

_She trembled as she felt warm blood drip down her arm."P-please… I beg of you, let me go…" _

_"You're USELESS!" He hissed, spittle flying in her face. "And useless Slavic bitches are only good for one thing." _

_"NO! N-no, no, PLEASE!" _

_Rough hands forced her to turn around, pressing against her mouth as she felt the back of her dress being ripped open. Natalia tried to scream, but her voice was muffled behind the hand. She tried to twist away, but her frail body was too weak. She couldn't breathe past the panic and fear that seized her. _

_"NO-O! Please, ple-ea-ease!" _

Natalia couldn't be sure when it had happened – when she stopped worrying about her appearance or her status as a nation. When she stopped looking down her nose at these disgusting men and started fearing them. When she no longer spat in their faces, but quickly looked away and mumbled a quiet, "Jawohl." When she longer demanded to be sent to Berlin, but kneeled in the mud before them and begged them to let her people live. When her voice turned from angry shouts of justice to wails of pain and horror.

Natalia did not recognize who she had become. Every day the words were spat at her: _Wench. Slavic whore. Useless bitch. Jewish scum. _And slowly, as she was dragged in chains and forced to her knees and denied food, as she pointed the Nazis to one Jewish family after another, as she watched the night sky glow orange with flames engulfing entire villages, as she witnessed bullets ripping into the backs of her peoples' heads to be thrown into mass graves on the side of the road…

She began to believe them. What use was she, if all she could do was stand and watch as her people were slaughtered? What kind of nation was she, to allow these mortals to defile her? There was no escape from the horrors, as even in sleep she was tormented by the perils of her people. But occasionally her mind distanced itself from this hellish reality.

_Natalia reclined in her favorite arm chair by a crackling fireplace. Across the room sat Ivan, the flames casting an orange glow across his face. He was buried in a book, not bothering to look up as he licked a finger and turned the page."But sister, I thought I asked you to protect the Soviet Union. And now you are assisting these Nazi scum in the invasion?"_

_Natalia's nails dug into the arm rests of her chair."They are forcing me to! You know I would never do this, brother. If Gilbert had come –"_

_"But he did not come." Ivan's voice was sharp, violet eyes darting up to send her a stern look. "You made the mistake of trusting him and now you will suffer the consequences."_

_"I'm sorry," she begged. "I'll never trust him again, I swear it! Brother, please…you are my only hope, you have to come save me!" _

_Ivan's scowl faded, but there was not a drop of sympathy in those cold eyes – only a cruel indifference. The fire threw dark shadows across his face as he said,"My dear Natalia. Nobody is coming to save you."_

Natalia awoke with a start. She pulled the thin blanket tight around herself, shuddering. From where she lay she could see the table legs of the General's desk, a uniform draped over a chair and various maps and weapons stored against the wall. Her entire body ached from sleeping on the cold hard surface of the floor, but it was better than waking up soaked with morning dew.

Just then a shaft of light broke into the tent with the flap of canvass. Natalia quickly shut her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Heavy footsteps thudded through the floor and stopped near to where she lay. There was an irritated sigh, then the distinct _click_ of a pistol being cocked.

Natalia's eyes flew open and she recoiled with a gasp. The General chuckled. "I knew that would get your attention. Guten Morgen, Schlampe."

She looked up with wide eyes, staring straight into the barrel of Luger. It hadn't taken long for the Nazis to realize that a bullet through the head wasn't enough to kill Natalia, and it was their favorite method of rendering her unconscious. The pain of regenerating brain tissue was one of the most excruciating things Natalia had experienced, and she would go to much greater lengths to avoid this than she would other methods of abuse.

There was a long stretch of silence, the General seeming to enjoy the fear in her eyes as she clutched the blanket to her chest. Suddenly the smirk on his face twisted into a snarl. "I'm not in the mood to scrub your filthy blood off my floor today." He reached down and grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stand. The blanket fell around her ankles and she hugged herself in a futile attempt to cover her naked body. The General snatched a newly plundered dress from the table and shoved it into her arms. "Put this on, and be quick about it." Natalia turned away from him, her only source of privacy as she struggled into the stolen piece of clothing that was much too bulky for her slender figure. Even so, she was grateful for the new clothes – her last dress had turned a rusty brown with dirt, sweat and dried blood.

"Hurry up, Slav!" The General snapped, and she let the skirt fall around her waist before rushing to pull on her boots. As her fingers fumbled with the laces, he lost patience and grabbed her arm. Natalia stumbled after him as he pulled her outside of the tent. The Nazi camp hummed around her, soldiers gathered around crackling campfires, the tantalizing scent of food filling her lungs. Natalia had long given up scanning the camp for any soldier who would be willing to help her. If these monsters treated the Jews like animals, why would they sympathize with someone who wasn't even human?

Mud squelched beneath Natalia's boots as she followed the General through the camp until they came to the outskirts where the supply vehicles were parked. He led her to a van that looked different than the others. Instead of canvas, the back was made from steel, sealing off any light from the outside. The vehicle looked strangely familiar, as though she had seen in in one of her dreams. Natalia tensed; if her peoples' memory of this vehicle was strong enough for her to receive in a vision... Her throat tightened when she recognized the black uniform of an SS officer standing near the van. _What are they going to do to me now?_

"Is that the package?" By now Natalia had picked up enough German to understand what they were saying.

"Yes. She's a feisty little bitch, so you'll have to use force."

The officer turned to the back of the van, lifting a heavy metal latch that opened with a dull clang. The steel door let out a groan as he swung it open, revealing the dark, cave-like interior. Natalia gasped when she saw scratch marks on the inside of the door. _No…_

The SS officer spun on his heel to face them. "I can take it from here, General."

The General looked nervous. "Aren't you going to use chains? It's not human you know – "

"I _said_, I can take it from here." The remark was followed with a sharp look that dared the General to challenge his authority.

"Jawohl." The General yanked Natalia's wrist so that she stumbled into him. His breath was hot in her ear as he hissed, "The less of you _creatures _we have infesting our camp, the better. Have fun with the Gestapo, you Slavic wench._"_ He shoved her forward, and the SS officer stepped aside to avoid collision as her knees slammed into the mud. Natalia barely managed to catch herself with trembling arms, the wet earth squishing between her fingers.

"It's government property, whatever happens to it is none of your concern. You may leave, General."

"Heil Hitler!" The General saluted.

"Heil Hitler."

Natalia listened to the squelch of mud as the General left. She knew that she should be glad to be freed of that beast, but SS officers were even more barbaric than military men. She was snapped from her thoughts by the _click_ of a pistol being cocked.

"Get in the van."

Natalia's eyes widened. _No… those scratches… my – my people… _

_BANG!_

She screamed, face pressed to the ground, muddied fingers clutching her head.

"They told me you can't die, should we test that theory?"

Natalia's eyes flew open, and she realized that the officer must have fired the gun in the air. She had seen them play the same torturous mind game with her people, she had watched as women and children slumped into ditches even when they hadn't been shot. "N-no sir…"

"Then I shouldn't have to repeat myself."

Natalia rose to her feet on trembling legs, her hands and knees slick with grey mud. She turned to the back of the van, her eyes once again resting on the scratch marks. They were all sizes – adults, children… She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath.

"RAUS!" The officer roared, then shoved her forwards so that she fell into the darkness, her knees slamming onto the flatbed. Natalia spun around just in time to watch him slam the steel doors shut with a deafening CLANG! She was plunged into complete darkness – not a single sliver of light leaked in from outside. The van was silent except for the sound of her own labored breaths echoing around her. Outside she heard footsteps, then a car door being opened and slammed shut. The engine started with a rumble, and Natalia gasped as she lurched forward. She could feel the ground rolling beneath the tires, the floor shaking and rumbling with the van's acceleration.

All at once, Natalia was flooded with panic. "W-wait…" she whispered. She lifted up her head to stare into the blackness. "Wait… wait!" She crawled to the back of the truck, feeling along the edges for a latch or some kind of opening. But the bottom of the door was completely smooth. "No, no, no, no…." She banged on the doors with a fist. "No, NO! L-let me out! Where are you – wh-where are you taking me?" The back of the truck lurched upwards and Natalia fell, sliding across the floor. She bumped into someone – no, she was surrounded by legs, the echoes of screams of terror. Metal banged all around her, nails scraped against all sides of the truck. Natalia gasped for air, feeling her lungs clog up with what smelled like exhaust. She broke into coughs, hands groping the darkness for a door, a latch, a crack that led to fresh air…_ anything… _

There were more coughs around her, they echoed in the darkness between screams for help, the wails of children. Natalia curled into a ball on the cold metal floor, her hands clutching her head. She could feel their sweat, their terror, hands reaching wildly into the darkness to find escape when there was none. Soon the screaming was completely replaced by hoarse gasps for air, then _thuds _began to echo through the van as bodies collapsed. One by one they fell, until the coughing, the gasps, the rank smell of sweat and exhaust faded into a thick silence.

Natalia opened her eyes. Her entire body was trembling so much that she could barely bring herself to look up. She felt along the ground with shaking hands, but her fingers only brushed the cool metal of the flatbed. There were no bodies, no arms or legs or heads of hair. She was alone.

She scrambled to her knees and slowly felt her way to a wall, then crawled along side of it until she reached a corner of the van. She pressed her hands on the walls of the van to steady herself as the truck rumbled and bumped over the road. Natalia squeezed her eyes shut, wrapping her arms around her knees and pressing her head into the cavity. Her body had become weak that she could feel her bones rattle with each lurch of the van. Natalia felt a dull churning in her stomach. She curled into a ball, pressing her arms over her middle. _Don't get sick, not in here! _But each time the van swung to the side or hit a bump in the road, the nausea only grew worse. At last Natalia bent over and sputtered vomit onto the metal floor. Her arms shook, strings of bile hanging from her mouth and dripping onto the flatbed. With trembling hands she ripped a strip of cloth from her dress, then braced herself on the floor as she wiped it with her boot. Natalia felt her way to the opposite corner of the van, making note of which direction she came from so she could go back if she got sick again. Her throat burned from the acid, and she coughed dryly into her knees. _Water… I need water…_

_"Water…" A skeletal hand reached through the fence, the voice dry and cracked. "Give me water… please…" _

Natalia closed her eyes and pressed her hands over her ears. "Leave me alone," she croaked. "I don't have any water."

_"Water!" The fence rattled as more fingers curled around the wires, shaking it violently. "Water, we need water! Give us water, PLEASE!" More hands reached out, thin and cracked, caked in mud and red with blisters. "Water, water… give us water…" _

Natalia let out a shriek and bowed her head to the rattling bed of the truck. "GO AWAY! I don't have any water, I can't help you!"

_"Help… help… Help us…" _

"I c-can't help you," She whispered, her breath hot on the metal. Her fingers curled into fists around her hair. "I'm sorry… I can't…"

Natalia lost count of how many times she got sick. Each time she crawled to the far side of the truck, each time she ripped another strip of fabric from her dress to soak up the vomit. Her throat felt like it was on fire, and what little food she had eaten the day before was long gone. Eventually she started tasting blood. First it was only a little, then the liquid was thick in her mouth. Natalia huddled behind her knees, fingers twisting the torn threads of her dress. There was no way to tell how long she would be in this van, or if the SS officer would let her out. The farthest she had been transported was to a different Nazi camp, but this exchange had clearly been different. _Government property, _she remembered the officer saying._ What does that mean? Was I not government property before? _She tried to imagine where the officer could be taking her. To a labor camp? An extermination camp? A ghetto? Would she just become another plaything for the Gestapo, as she had been for the soldiers?

Natalia closed her eyes and listened to the rumbling of the engine, as if the van itself could give her answers. "Where are you taking me," she whispered. She took a deep breath, reaching out with what little strength she had to try and get her bearings. _We're traveling West. _She opened her eyes and frowned. _That's strange – so far the soldiers have only moved East, towards Russia. And they haven't shown any signs of retreating. _Natalia slumped against the steel wall of the van, letting out a shuddering sigh that burned her throat. Her head banged against the metal, and she winced and leaned against her legs again. _I hope they don't expect me to sleep in here. _

Natalia was so weak that she found herself nodding off, then jolting awake when her head came to rest against the steel wall or when she slumped forward. At one point she woke up to her face mashed against the cold steel. She cursed under her breath as she struggled to push herself up, then froze. Something had changed, it was too quiet… Natalia gasped. _The van has stopped moving! _The floor vibrated when the a door opened, then slammed shut. She scrambled to her feet, rushing to press her ear against the wall. She heard heavy footsteps, the sound of gravel crunching underfoot as the officer walked the length of the van. In the distance Natalia heard more noise – it sounded like the hum of a Nazi camp. She felt her way across the wall, following the footsteps. Eventually she reached the far corner, tracing her fingers across the scratched metal until she found the crack where the two doors met. Natalia took a step back, rearranging her dress to make sure she was properly covered. She squinted into the darkness and waited.

The door never opened. Natalia frowned, then ran to press her ear against the crack. She could still hear the footsteps, but they were fading away. _Wait… he's not leaving me here, is he? _Natalia took a deep breath, forcing herself to stay calm. The officer was probably getting a General. She knew that the moment she stepped out of this van, only more horrors awaited her. But at least she had an idea of what would happen to her in the camp – this van was a pit of the unknown. She sank to her knees, leaning against the door so she could listen for more footsteps.

Natalia waited. Soon the steady movement of the Nazi camp faded into silence, and a chorus of crickets arose from outside. The metal of the truck grew cool with nighttime air. Natalia cursed – the SS officer probably wouldn't be back until morning. She gave up leaning against the wall, instead laying on the steel floor of the van. _This is even worse than laying outside. _She slipped in and out of consciousness, but at last her weak body gave into sleep.

_"Mommy, are we taking a shower?"_

_"Yes dear, stay close. Don't let go of my hand."_

_"The lights!" _

_"What was that? Someone turned the lights off!"_

_"Wh-what's happening!? Turn the lights back on!" _

_"M-mommy?"_

_"Just hold my hand, everything will be fine."_

_"Mommy, what's that noise?"_

_"What's going on, I can't – "_

_"I can't breathe!"_

_"AAEEEIIIAHHH!"_

_"Someone get us out of here! HELP US! Help, we can't – !" _

_"Don't let go, don't – NATASHA!" _

_"MOMMY!" _

Natalia jolted awake with a gasp. She was surrounded by pitch black, but the voices of her dream were still crystal clear as hundreds of people shrieked in the darkness. "No.. n-no…" Her throat burned, and with a cough she realized she couldn't breathe. "No, NO, NO! LET ME OUT!" She scrambled to her feet, banging on the metal. "GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE! PLEASE, SOMEBODY! I can't – I c-can't breathe, I can't – PLEASE! PLEA-EA-EASE!" She scratched at the door, coughing until she fell to her knees and spat blood onto the ground. Natalia trembled, pressing her head against cold metal. "Please… please… I can't… I can't be in here anymore…Please… let me out…" But her only answer was the steady chirp of crickets from outside.

She trembled, the truck echoing with her pants for air. Natalia pressed her hands to her ears to block out the screams, but they pierced through her with chilling clarity. She wanted to tell herself that it wasn't real, that is was just a dream… but it _wasn't,_ she could feel the gas burning her throat, hands clawed at her dress from all sides, the truck rattled with the frantic thuds of bare feet trying to escape. This was happening – all over her country, it was happening to her _people, _and she was helpless to save them.

"К…Купалiнка…" She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the screams. "К-Купалiнка…Цёмная ночка…"

"_Igor!? Igor where are you!" _

_"Don't let go!"_

_"Help us! Please, oh god, somebody help us!" _

Her voice trembled so much that she could barely choke out the words to the old folk song, "Цёмная ночка… д-дзе ж твая дочка? Тв… твая дочка…" Hot tears rolled down her cheeks as she pressed her face to the door, whispering the words over and over in her own language until at last the screaming faded into a thick silence. Natalia clasped her hands over her knees and rocked back and forth, trying to keep herself awake. Her entire body ached with exhaustion, but she didn't dare fall asleep for fear of having another vision. She sang folk songs under breath, as if they were a spell keeping the demons away. She tried to focus on anything but what was happening to her people – her family, their home in Moscow… but in this black hell it all felt like a dream. This – this darkness with the screams of her people echoing in her ears and gas burning her throat – this had become her new reality.

Natalia awoke to the rumble of the engine starting. She sat up with a gasp. _He's back. But… he's leaving?_ She scrambled to her feet and stumbled to the front of the truck where she knew the officer had just started the ignition. Natalia banged a fist on the wall. "HEY! Don't drive, I need water! A-and the restroom, I need to use the restroom!" Her voice cracked and her throat burned, but she didn't care – she needed out, the officer had to hear her! The van let out a groan as it began to roll forward. Natalia's eyes widened. "No… no, no, no…." She kicked the wall, a metallic CLANG echoing around her. The van swung to the side and Natalia let out a cry as she was flung into the far corner. She struggled to stand, slowly making her way back to the driver's side. "STOP!" She shouted. "I need out! Don't you understand? I need water, I need – " Then it hit her. If this officer knew she wasn't human, why would he believe that her body had the same functions as a human? And if he knew she was immortal, what would be the use of feeding her? Natalia lifted her fist from the wall and slowly sank to the floor. Her breathing escalated, her fingers tangling in her hair. "LET ME OUT!" She shrieked, in a voice that sounded more animal than human. But again she was met with the deafening silence as the van rattled and bumped over the road.

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed. Natalia relied on the chirping of insects and the cool air to tell if it was nighttime, but she lost track of how many had passed. Sometimes the van would move all night, others it remained parked for what felt like days at a time. The only sign of outside life was the occasional rumble of another vehicle passing by, or the shuffle of POW's marching along the road. Sometimes Natalia could hear her brother's language being spoken by the soldiers. But it didn't matter how much she shouted at them through the steel walls – they could not help her. When the vehicle stopped Nazi camps hummed in the distance, other times were silent except for the shrieking of insects. She could always hear gunshots – some echoing across the countryside, others so close that the metal vibrated. The SS officer held conversations right outside of the van, but Natalia could never glean any information as to where he was taking her. It was as if he had forgotten she was even there.

But what happened outside of her new prison became irrelevant as Natalia's visions intensified. She opened her eyes in burning villages, in labor camps, in mass graves, the images and stench of rotting bodies as sharp and clear as anything she had known. And when she woke up, all she could see was the pitch blackness, the rumbling of the van engine… and that _smell_. The stench became so potent that Natalia could barely breathe. She was forced to relieve herself on the cold metal floor in the same corner where she had thrown up. At first she tried soaking up the urine with strips of her dress, but it wasn't long before she didn't have any skirts left. Thankfully her motion sickness had subsided, but the visions left Natalia coughing so violently that she spat blood onto the floor. With no water, her throat burned so much that she lost her ability to speak. Sleep was impossible – while the truck moved, her head banged against the metal. While it was still, she was tormented by nightmares that left her curled up on the floor and shaking. Natalia grew so desperate for rest that she took off her dress and tried using it as a pillow, but when she put it back on it was sticky with filth. Natalia felt like she was losing herself – she didn't know what she was, or why she was here. She could barely tell what was real anymore – was this dark place a dream, or were the terrified faces in her "visions" a dream? But despite the chaos, Natalia was certain of one fact: She was still in her country. She could feel it – the tracking system in her mind that told her the van was moving West, the strong connection with her people. It was the only reality she clung to.

But one day, it vanished.

Natalia's head shot up, her eyes wide as she felt she had been blinded. _No…_ She scrambled to the walls, pressing her hands against it. _No, no, no… don't take me away… _She tried to yell at the driver, but her voice was nothing but a strained gasp. Panic overcame her as she pounded the wall, her chest heaving with sobs. _I – I don't know where I am, I c-can't feel them… I can't feel them! TAKE ME BACK! Please! P-please… _She collapsed onto the van floor, her breaths coming in rattling gasps. The thought came to her, so quiet and without surprise: _I'm dying._

Her people had been slaughtered, her culture destroyed, her government dismantled. Now there was only one step remaining: To kill the nation representative. Natalia closed her eyes. _Of course. _How had she not realized it before? She was going to be driven across the entire continent of Europe in the back of this van, until she was so cut off from her people that she became mortal. They would starve her and suffocate her until her body was no longer able to function. A single tear rolled down the side of Natalia's head, soaking into her hair. _I'm going to die in here._

_Ivan looked down on her, his eyes alight with rage. "What are you doing? You're just going to give up?"_

_"Brother, I can't –"_

_"Is this what I have taught you? To let those fascist bastards win!?"_

_"Vanya, please… you don't understand…"_

_"No, I completely understand." Ivan's gaze was harsh and full of disappointment. "You have betrayed me, Natalia. You have betrayed your family, your people, everything that you have fought for."_

_She reached forward and clung to the fringes his coat, her hands bloodied and skeletal. "They are killing me, brother!" _

_Ivan curled a lip. "That means you are letting them." He snatched his coat out of her grasp and took a step back. "I did not train you to be this way. You have become weak."_

_"Brother, wait! You – you are the only one who can save me, please!"_

_A fire lit in those violet eyes."You think I am not busy trying to keep those damn Nazis out of my own country? There are scores of tanks parked right outside of Leningrad, Natalia – LENINGRAD!" _

_She trembled at those words. "I – I'm sorry…"_

_"I am risking my life every day to protect my people and to fight for my family. And what are you doing? You are crying and begging like some kind of starving peasant." Ivan turned, his blood-stained coat whirling around him."Goodbye, Natalia. Unlike you, I still have a war to fight." _

~/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/~

Natalia awoke to a deep metallic groan that echoed around her. She moaned, curling up on the cold bed of the truck. Her eyes fluttered open and a sharp pain stabbed into her head._"Ah!" _She pressed the heels of her palms to her eye sockets to block out the sudden throbbing. The metal around her clanged with what sounded like footsteps. Natalia's mind raced with what was happening. Was this real? Another vision? She tried to ask but her voice was nothing but grated breath leaving her lips.

The air began to move, a strange cool feeling brushed against her bare legs… Natalia gasped. _Wind? _She reached out blindly for some kind of confirmation that the sensation was real. Large gloved hands closed around her wrists and forced them behind her back.

"Walk," a deep voice commanded.

_I… I can't…_

"It's no use, the creature is practically dead now. We'll have to carry it in."

_Carry… in… where… Where am I?_

Something hoisted Natalia upwards, and her entire body rattled as she felt herself hanging upside down. She risked opening her eyes again. Her head pounded from so much light, but she could make out something grey moving beneath her, marked with lines etches in the ground. _Cobblestone…_Two black objects moved back and forth across her line of sight. _Boots. _As her vision cleared, Natalia realized that she had been slung over a soldier's shoulders. She was certain that this was real, but somehow things were much more blurred than in her visions. For all the horrors she had witnessed, Natalia hadn't used her physical eyesight in… what, days? Weeks? It felt like years. She heard a low creak of a door being opened and the cobblestone moving beneath her changed to polished wood panels. The air changed, no longer a breeze but the artificial stillness and crisp scent of the indoors. Natalia tried to move, but the hands gripping her waist seemed so strong against her weakened body. _The hands of a human,_ she thought helplessly, realizing in that moment just how low she had fallen.

There were spoken words in German; Natalia recognized the tone as military. The soldier holding her shifted and she found herself being rolled off of his back. Her thin legs pressed against the smooth wood of a chair; she blinked as she tried to make sense of the scene in front of her. She was in some kind of government building, obviously German judging by the portrait of Hitler hanging on the wall and red flag emblazoned with a swastika standing in the corner. Several officers were having a heated discussion that was growing louder with each word; judging by their hand gestures they were talking about her. Past the pounding in her head, Natalia struggled to understand the shouted German.

"Well then what would you have me do with it, then?" The first officer stood behind a desk, blue eyes glancing in her direction with a look of disgust.

The man speaking to him wore an SS uniform; a moment later Natalia recognized him as her driver. "A shower, that is all. You needn't be burdened with this filth any longer than necessary."

Their deep voices faded into oblivion as she lost focus, the officer's reply echoing in a maddened mantra. _A shower, that is all. A shower. A shower. A SHOWER. _"N-no." Her lips moved but no words came out. Natalia's bony fingers curled around the edge of her chair, her body trembling. "No…"

Rough hands closed around her shoulders and forced her to stand. A panic struck Natalia as never before, her nails dug into the uniform of the soldier as a sudden strength returned that she had not possessed a moment ago. "NO!" She shrieked, attempting to twist of of his grip. The soldier cursed and more rushed to his aid, having come seemingly out of nowhere. Gloved hands grabbed her wrists, her arms, all the while forcing her out of the lobby and into a concrete hallway.

The shriek that unleashed from her throat was like that of a tortured animal. Natalia could not say where the strength or her voice had come from, all she knew was that she _was not going with these men. _Her screams broke into sobs as she realized that even now she was powerless against so many soldiers. _No… no, no, no!_ It was happening, it was real – the scene she had witnessed countless times but had been helpless to interfere as her people had been herded down cramped dark hallways into open rooms with shower heads… then the lights would shut off and the screams, the choking, bodies pressed together and bloodied nails clawing for escape when there was none…

"I don't want to die," Natalia wailed in her own language, a plea she knew would fall on deaf ears. "Please – p-please…" The room suddenly grew cold and her bare feet brushed over slick tile. The sight of a row of shower heads send another electric shock of energy through her body. Natalia clawed at one of the soldiers, her nails scratching through fabric until they found flesh. He cried out in pain and the group quickened their pace down the aisle. She twisted and scratched and bit the men who held her, but nothing seemed to loosen their grip.

There were shouts and a low creak as the soldiers opened a metal door, then Natalia was pushed forward. She she barely managed to catch her balance before whipping around to see the door slam shut with a deafening CLANG. She flew at it with such force that the hinges rattled, her voice cracking under the strain as she wailed. "NOOO! PLEA-EASE! Let me out, d-don't – please…" She slumped against the door, her body giving into exhaustion and cheeks pressed onto the cold metal. Her shoulders lurched with a sob. "Vanya… V-Vanya… I'm sorry… F-forgive me…"

She collapsed on the tile floor, raw knees meeting over a circular drain. Natalia knew what came next. But as she stared at the small black holes in the floor, she was overcome with a strange sense of calm. _I'm going to die. _The confidence of that fact was the surest thing Natalia had known since her capture. And as her breathing steadied and the world seemed to quiet around her, she realized that there was nothing to be afraid of. All beings must die, even nations… and why should she be afraid of something that humans faced every day? Why should she choose life over death, when she had failed her people, when she had been abandoned, when her country had all but been burned to the ground? _I am nothing. _The thought was strangely comforting. Natalia rose on shaky legs, now so thin that they resembled bones. She craned her neck to look straight at the shower head and closed her eyes.

_I am ready to die._

There was a sudden noise, something like a sputter. Natalia flinched, nails clenching into her palms as she held her breath. A shock slammed into her body, and she gasped as the air was knocked out of her. Natalia pressed a hand to her mouth, expecting the horrid burning sensation to attack her throat – but her lips brushed something wet. She recognized a spraying sound echoing around her…

Trembling, she pulled her hands away from her mouth. And there, cupped in her chapped, blood-stained palms… was water.

Natalia's breath caught in her throat. She slowly craned her neck up, now recognizing the cool sensation that had overcome her body, droplets zigzagging down her skin and soaking into her hair. She made a sound that she did not recognize – it was a bellow, an raw burst of emotion as she lunged for the precious liquid filling her cupped hands. The water trickled down her throat in a cool, soothing stream – the first substance she'd had since she was locked in the gas van. She gasped with a mixture of relief and a need for more, the water could not fill her hands fast enough as she sucked it up like the starving, desperate creature they had turned her into.

**History Notes**

**Belarus was occupied by the Nazis from the summer of 1941 until August of 1943. An estimated 9,000 villages were burned or destroyed, 600 of whose population was completely wiped out. Local anti-Stalinist police assisted in these killings, as they knew the identity of the Jews. They were recruited from volunteers and eventually reached as many as 300,000, helping the Einsatzgruppen, or**** Nazi death squads, to round up and shoot civilians. Belarus is described as suffering a "Holocaust by Bullet", in which 800,000 Jews were shot. ****By the end of the war, Belarus lost about a quarter of its population. **

**Gas Vans – After seeing the phycological damage caused by shooting civilians, the Nazis began to explore other, more efficient ways of killing. Gas vans were air-tight vehicles with a removable tube that pumped carbon monoxide into the back of the van, which could hold 50 to 70 people. Victims were first ordered to hand over all of their valuables, then strip naked and enter the gas van. They were locked inside and the driver would start the ignition. It would take ten to twenty minutes for the victims to suffocate, then they were driven to mass burial sites or to be cremated. Approximately 300,000 people were killed by gas vans in Belarus and Ukraine alone, many of them Jews being transferred from the Minsk Ghetto. **

**Gas chambers – The Final Solution of how to most effectively kill Undesirables en masse was decided on September 1, 1941. Most of these killings occurred at Auschwitz and Treblinka, both located in present-day Poland, but gas chambers were used to exterminate Jews from all across Nazi-occupied Europe, as well as Soviet POW's. Prisoners were told that they were going to take a shower and were then killed using Zyklon B pellets dropped from the ceiling. (So, if you've been paying attention, you'll notice that Natalia would actually have no knowledge of this method of killing since it wasn't in use yet. But I'm taking creative license on this one.)**

**AN: I know this chapter was long and grueling, but it is meant to be. I wanted to show how people during this time were reduced to something less than human. Regardless of their status before the war – banker, doctor, professor, author... they all found themselves in the same place, struggling to survive just one more day. This was also an opportunity for me to show what Prussia went through in more detail – he received visions similar to this and his experience in Russia's dungeon left him with the same backwards view of reality that Natalia had here.  
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**Thank you so much for reading, and hopefully my next update will be sooner than later! Reviews are much loved!**


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